I feel less and less need to update my Livejournal... it's just how it is.
But, I would have to say that my last entry was fairly disillusioned.
I thought, without doubt, you know... that I would be going to college next year, that I would be a music major. I was so excited.
Then GVSU sends me a letter saying they don't have enough room for me.
I got that letter about two weeks ago. I just can't care anymore. At this point, I have no idea what I'm going to be doing next year. If GVSU sends me a letter saying they made room for me, then hoorah. But, if not... well... maybe I'll move in with my sister. Maybe I'll move down to vandalia and work at Archway for the fall/spring. They were actually the ones that approached me with the idea... so...
All I know, is that there is no way I'm staying at this house. For reasons, I do not feel a need to reiterate.
At least I'm graduating.
In other news, I have been enlightened to the band known as "flyleaf" and... well... holy shit. I am in deep deep like with the vocalist of that band. Her voice is... wow...
I'm not exactly reccommending others to listen to it, because well... it's my music. And, most of you will not enjoy it all too much. But just note this... the chick is hot... Her voice turns me on like no other... this is something I've never had happen before.
So It's 2:05 AM and I have to poop... but that's ok.
I feel like writing an entry. I feel like saying, Yo, Livejournal, let's try this again.
I feel like yelling at credit card companies to give me a fucking chance.
I feel like Spontaneously Combusting...
But hey... we've gotta start somewhere...
Be aware, This entry WILL switch subjects... many times... over the course of this thing.
It's been a long time since I made a real entry. So... There's a lot to say. If you speak to me frequently, and actually no me... then feel free to skim this or even skip it altogether... The same goes if you just don't care. But... Enough dancing around the goddamn W. Bush...
So, I still haven't heard back from Grand Valley. It makes me nervous... I mean... I don't know why they're waiting... I don't know if I'm supposed to do something more. I know I'm supposed to submit my compositions and everything, but I'm a lazy bastard and very absent minded, so they sit here in my computer, just collecting... um... Computer Dust? Anyway... So, I'm really hoping that this is working out. I'm also hoping that I'm going into the right profession... I mean, I know I am and everything... but with my schedule... I hardly ever get to practice. And it sucks. And every damn week my guitar teacher just kinda gets frustrated and throws up his arms at me. Not physically... but... I mean... he does.
Then there's this entire thing about just financing. I'm always nervous about having enough money. I always end up being fine... but I'm always nervous. Because I want to spend so much. But, I have to show constraint. I really don't think I can afford to jump from a plane again on May 5th... But I'm going to. And I just hope it works out. I would love for this stupid website that I've been trying to get my laptop from to give me something I can actually do for the final 2 things I must. Oh well, I'm just fairly annoyed at this point. I need a computer. One that will allow me to do work on it more than just when my parents are asleep or at work.
In any case, I've started smoking a bit. I originally said I only wanted to do one a week back when I first took one up. Now I try to keep it at two... but I've learned that for the most part when I smoke... I don't inhale... I just enjoy the blowing of the smoke. And thus, I don't think it's quite as bad for me as it would be otherwise. But I've been trying a lot of things now... I dipped for the first time on Easter night after work. That was an experience... I don't think I'll ever do it again... because there was no way that was healthy for me... but... it's ok.
On April 28th Charlie and I go down to rock Decatur again. I must say I'm quite nervous. I don't think all of our plans are going to work because we can't get a hold of any 5 dollar guitars. All the ebay bids I have lost. But that's alright, we have enough going for us right now that I think our lack of the guitar battle will be alright. We still have much to do down there. We need that camera I ordered to be shipped to me ASAP We need our WTFWJD shirts ASAP... Both of which are supposedly shipped already. And on Saturday, I will go out to buy myself a pedalboard.
Speaking of Music, I have joined a new project. Consisting of Mike Harris, Mike Walsh, Wayne Pombert, myself, Stefan and Sean... It's called Tantalous, but who the hell cares about that. It's enjoyable. And it's forcing me to train myself again. I haven't had to train myself on something in guitar in a long while. It's all been practice... but I've gotta train. And training is tough. So I'm learning all the lamb of god that I can, then to move up to Sepultura... then... probably trivium... I've just gotta pump this stuff... It's the only way I'm going to be able to run with this crowd.
Work has gotten very erratic. I've discovered pleasure in places I used to hate... and discovered hatred for places I used to love. It's weird. I may volunteer to work full time lunch hour days over summer as long as I get first window Drive Thru... The time will fly by and I won't have to kill anyone. Otherwise I want to close. I want to work 5 to close pretty much every night except friday and saturday. working morning on Wednesday and maybe swap tuesday night for friday morn. However it works... whatever. All I know is that I look forward to the day I no longer have to come into that place for scheduled periods of time. But until then... I need the money... OH HOW DO I NEED THAT MONEY!
I really do need to get my online business started at some point. But it's ok, I've got the forms and everything I Just have to take them to the post office and mail them to England.
Oh yeah, I still don't have a girlfriend. And at this point in time I've decided I don't want one for the duration of High School. I've gone this long without one getting one now would just be stupid. I've really started to push a lot of girls out of my life. Don't get me wrong, if you're a girl and you're reading this, chances are I haven't done this to you. But, I've just been noticing more and more lately that girls truly disobey like every life principle I follow. Simple things like don't gossip, and don't live in drama. It's all I ever get to hear about in Calculus anymore... and now that Tyler sits at my lunch table... He is in many ways like a manly woman. I hate how he has turned every conversation into one about sex. I mean, it wasn't bad when there was the occasional porn or masturbation discussion... but... now... It's just like... C'MON MAN! THERE'S OTHER THINGS IN LIFE! And especially when Dan Ramage comes and joins us... Sometimes I just feel like getting myself a turtle shell so I don't have to listen to the damn shittiness anymore... Yes, I realize that this paragraph was a little hypocritical... but... Well... Ok... it is. And I apologize for that. But I'm not going to delete any of it, because it's been said... and it needed to be said. But as I was saying, I just hate getting dragged into all this stuff, and thus I Really have just been not talking to a lot of people that do that to me lately.
Throughout high school I will never have attended any event besides the talent shows and battle of the bands... Oh and one musical... but hey... Never a game, Never a dance, Never any real school function.
I actually was planning on going... but they chose April 29th... and that's not gonna fly.